i breathe too hard D:

but, yay! for a sec, i felt really bad for not updating in a while. but then i took a gander at other people's blogs, and it looks like i'm not the only one! lol

i guess mid-May is just one of those busy times of the year.... i know my work's starting to pick up on business, and what's more, Finals are next week! but whatevs---that just means the semester's gonna be over soon. ...and then, i won't have any excuses whatsoever to slack off with exercise! XD

not that i had any room to slack off before. Priscilla 'n' me weighed in a Tuesday or two ago, and...i.... well, on second thought, no comment! BUT, HAY, PRISCILLA'S LOST 8 POUNDS, GAIZ. 8D

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don't worry; i am reminded of my sins each training day. Priscilla's attained victory each time we've competed against each other. actually, i think i just about died last time. (no, seriously, Sham, that was 4956749056230563 squats too many for me. x_X)

and it's like, wtf, i know for a fact that you haven't been keeping up your core! and she just wins. so, that in itself is motivation. i look forward to Thursday!

-
on a side-note, i've come to notice how i tend to breathe a lot heavier than Priscilla during training. and if there's one thing to help me lay off the cigs, it's the fact that i do not like how i breathe a lot heavier than Priscilla during training.

yes, my only regret from smoking is the fact that it makes me embarrassed to breathe. LOL

okay, peace.

-mc

i'm quitting training.

Ever felt like one day, you can do absolutely anything? Like you can take on the world with your bare hands, no gloves, fight tooth 'n' nail, and who cares if the odds are one to a million, because you have drive, dammit.

And then in a single moment, everything crashes inwards, crumpling in on itself, in on you, trapping you, entombing you alive, and you're stuck there. Left to die in the debris.

The stronger ones can dig themselves out of heap; they start anew and rebuild, and are able to take off running headlong back in the fray. Then, there are the weak ones. There's me.

Ever since training started, I've always asked myself, "Can I do this? Can I really do this???"

Well, today, I've realized the answer. I can't do this. It's too much for me. If that means I'm weak, then I'm weak, but I can't keep doing this.

Maybe some people can, but I can't.

I can't.

I quit.

!!! APRIL FOOLS !!!

XD

okay, first of all, yeah the frick right.

oh, wow~ *snort* i'm pretty sure this isn't what Sham wanted when he reminded us to update our blogs, but i just had to, hahaha.

i'm seriously hoping i was able to gaslight at least a couple people with that; april fools gags get trickier to pull each year, don'cha know. LOL

but, yeah. no way in hell am i quitting that easily. smack me if i do. i'm in for the long haul, guys. there's no such thing as 'impossible', just a matter of how much you're willing to commit yourself, that's all. training's probably the best choice i've made in my life. and tomorrow, i'll have real news fersure.

because tomorrow, we weigh in.

*is nervous...BUT NOT ENOUGH TO QUIT, JUST SAYIN'*

-mc

cookie-fasting starts NOW, dammit!

i've decided to do a cookie-fast! no cookies anymore, whatsoever. i don't care what my tongue or my stomach tell me. they lie.

the reason behind this fast: i fail at sit-ups. 'nuff said.

um...that's just about all i have to say for now. and anything i mention about training on Thursday would just repeat a post Priscilla already made. so, just to make said fitness partner giggle or something when she reads this, here's a list of Sham-quotes.

[Sham-quote (n.) : something that our trainer tends to say a lot during training.]

---The List!---

"Get that heart rate up." (also: "Keep that heart rate up!")

"Remember: perfect posture."

"Remember your checkpoints: toes pointed, gluts flexed, abs tight, shoulders back and relaxed..."

"Drive it up!"

"Keep moving, keep moving." (also: "Keep going, keep going.")

"Keep it up, keep it up!"

"Ten more, ten more..." (or: whatever number he replaces 'ten' with.)

"Give me ten more." (or: same explanation as above.)

"Fight it, fight it!"

"I know you're getting tired, but you have to keep moving!"

"Remember why you're doing this."

"That fat isn't gonna burn itself."

"You can do it."

"You're almost done! Finish strong!"

"...And...you can relax."

---

i swear there's more XD. i'll keep adding to it.

so, if you train with Sham, you can listen for these and play bingo in your head during training or something. ...when you're not focused on your shaking muscles or gasping for breath, that is.

you will hear them. not only when you train with Sham, but when you exercise on your own too. you'll hear their echoes o_o.

-mc

GOAL STATEMENT

thought it'd be a good time to post this. i present to you...my goal statement!!!

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My goal is to lose weight and achieve (and maintain) a fit figure!

I want this because I know there are many more opportunities offered to people who are in shape. I've seen the craigslist ads, and whether for financial reasons or otherwise, losing weight would up my level of competition and what I bring to the table. I'm capable and proficient at many things, but I see that first impressions are often based on looks. People want their people to look healthy; and if I want to be the representation of someone else, chances are they want me to look fit and active.

I'm willing to sacrifice time and my spending money to make this work. I'm also willing to let go of my favorite snacks; my teeth aren't in the best condition anyway, so motivation to stay away from sweets is twice as strong. At the same time, I'm willing to swallow my pride and admit I need some guidance to help me reach my goal.

And when I reach it...I believe I'll feel liberated. And unbelievably happy. My weight has long been that one obstacle that I could never quite get past in my life. When I finally do, I'll feel unstoppable.
-

gah...i hate reading stuff i wrote in the past.

and, actually, this is way condensed.... i mean, it's my original goal statement, yeah, but i clipped out a lot to keep it from becoming an essay. (Sham requires a goal statement from all his clients.) but it retains my central purpose, and serves as a reminder. i have one for home, one for work, and one to carry with me at all times (though, i often forget it somewhere or another D: ).

i should make more copies. one for driving, one each for every textbook i cart around to school, one for my ceiling so i can read it before i go to bed, a few to paste on the backs of people i sit behind in class...haha! (in all seriousness, maybe i should.)

-mc

posture

another 'lifestyle change' i'm in the process of making a habit is good posture. who knew good posture helped you lose weight? i didn't. my trainer had to tell me.

this is yet another transition thathasn't been totally smooth.

i can keep my toes pointed forward and my shoulders back and relaxed (most of the time), but it's keeping my neck straight that i have trouble with. i've always been the type of person to look down all the time, so keeping my head up makes everything seem more confrontational.... it's gonna take me a while to get used to this part.

it's also kind of difficult keeping my abs and gluts tight (which i'm supposed to be doing...) all the time; i'm pretty spacey, so i lose focus a lot.

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here's a cool thing, tho~

i was also taught to sit a certain good-posture-like way that'll help me burn calories while i'm sitting down. pretty nifty, amirite?

it was kind of awkward the first few times i tried this, since i would start shaking from holding the position for so long, and people in class would look at me like 'wtf is wrong with that person???' haha, but it's worth it to achieve my goal, and i don't shake so obviously anymore. maybe that means i'm getting stronger?

i hope so.
-mc

okay, then...

hello! my full first name is Michelle-Casey, i have a tendency to ignore the 'shift' key, and i'm gonna lose weight (with the help of Sham, of course. he's my trainer.)!

i'm starting this blog kinda late, though. i'm about two weeks into this training-thing. i call it the 'pt'. because i needed a code name for it so i could speak of it in public without giving away what it is since many of the people i'm surrounded by would not approve. and 'pt' could stand for 'physical training' or my 'part-time' job, cuz it's believable that i could lose weight thanks to my work. ...JUST ADMIT IT'S CLEVER.

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anyway, i was talking with Priscilla (my partner in crime a.k.a. weight loss...which actually isn't a crime at all), and she was saying how she felt like the laziest client ever since she didn't have a blog.

and that got me to thinking, "well, at least YOU put up a craigslist ad and got me to take the bite and start this fitness stuff." which led to me pondering on what i've done as a walking billboard for Sham. which led to me realizing that i've done nothing. except asked a few friends who responded negatively.

and suddenly, i felt lazy, too! MORE lazy!! GASP. so here i am, not being lazy, and writing a blog about my experience with this pt.

that said, tune in from time to time to catch if i updated, and watch me struggle. because struggle is interesting. my old art teacher says so.


<3
-mc